Life is very very short!

 Dont worry, this is not my thought, I think the opposite. 

Out of no where Sud called me enquiring about how I am doing and what is going on in my life, I wonder why :) He made this statement on the call when talking about the shit in my life and how we should live life as 'life is very very short'. Poor him, feels bad for me with things I have shared. I dono what he would do if he got to know the actual shit I'm going through :D

Anyways, I feel life is not short, what if it is really long? What are we doing to make it worthwhile and not feel pathetic or a waste of space? What if you have nothing to distract your mind? What will you do if you have to wait forever for great things to happen to you? 

Normally I have answers to them or have the balls to ignore them, but not today. I only have questions and that hurts coz they doubt my instincts and the core of my living.

What if I am wrong, what if I am genuinely discarded and not needed anymore, what if the world has moved on and I am left here to rot, what if I'm waiting coz I cant move on and nothing will change, etc.

I wish I could know the honest truth, not coz I need closure but coz I need some lifeline. How do I see hope when there is no response at all. I am not supposed to enquire with anyone and not get to hear directly. How do you not feel a horrible unwanted asshole who does not deserve anything, not even the crumbs or stale stuff that a street dog gets? Sorry if I am being pathetic, it is ok to accept this I guess :)

Finally, I will wait but I fear ill be dead inside by the time things change. I will wish the best for everyone and try to hang in there, coz that is all I am good at and good for!