Leave Alone!

I have never understood what being alone is coz I never gave myself a chance to be alone, I was always surrounded by people. Then I moved to the UK but even there I had people around and when I was physically alone, I craved the company and never let myself embrace it. I feared being on my own and did not know how to handle my thoughts. 

It is only in recent times that I genuinely let myself be alone, isolated myself from the world around me and gave it a chance. It was strange, I kinda like it, I am a decent company and I enjoy the process. But even in this, I am not alone, I have my thoughts, my memories, my fears, my troubles, my likings, my insanity. That is when I realized that being alone is not a physical thing, it is how you feel inside. You can be in a crowd and feel alone or be in the remotest of places all by yourself and feel you have company. 

And I have also realised that one can influence others through their energies, they don't have to be physically around or even talk. Just thinking about a person can impact their energy. You just need to open up for that energy realization. I feel it myself in places where the connection is strong. 

With this background, I really want to know how to be alone or leave someone alone. 

How can I be alone when I find so many thoughts in my head. How can I be alone when you can feel the presence all the time and I just enjoy the company. How can I be alone when the surrounding reminds me of things constantly, actually no, I started to see the surroundings differently thanks to these things :D Like the thought process of looking at beautiful nature around me through the dust, heat, dirt, etc. or living today as it is important and not looking for some far future. Things that make me smile, laugh inside, cry and feel overwhelmed. Basically the whole experience of looking at my emotions and being vulnerable.

And how do I leave someone alone when I have so many thoughts and I live these moments daily in my reality. The world is connected and I am sure those energies are felt across oceans. And when you feel you are needed, opposite words do not matter, they confuse at times but never hinder the thought process. Especially for a person like me who believes in instincts and goes with it.

I still do not understand being alone but I know one thing, there is nothing called alone unless you decide you want it and block your thoughts! Think about it :)