Gratitude!

My bday last week was one of the dullest for me. I just felt lost from morning and it continued throughout the day. I just wanted to be left alone and dint feel like talking to anyone. 

It showed me nothing I do is enough!

Overall not a day I would want to go back to, so much so that I want to kill my bday celebrations going forward. I am not kidding, I am seriously thinking about it!

But something happened that gave me hope, not just hope but showed me there is life. 

I was tired and trying to sleep and almost feeling dejected with everything. Kiddo was next to me watching TV and doing something that was very new. He put his hand gently on my head and just brushed my hair gently, like he dint want to wake me up. It was so gentle that it felt like an angel was doing it :) He did it a few times, he wanted to show me that love, I guess he saw me sad and wanted to comfort me. It was so unlike him, he is normally a bit rougher and does not like such gestures. 

I teared up and cried with relief and joy. I can close my eyes and go back to that feeling and it makes me well up. I have always believed that I am very lucky, there is someone who is looking after me even during the worst of times. I am blessed that way. And my biggest blessing is my son, my greatest hope and his gesture just made me want to live for him no matter what.

I decided to go to bed every day with this gratitude for life. No matter how hard things get, I have a lot to thank for and I will do it every day and wish the best for everyone. 

Gratitude, yes, gratitude is what I gifted myself and I think it is one of the best gifts I have ever received, all thanks to kiddo!