Missing God!

 I have always believed in God being all around us. And they come in all forms, all beliefs, all religions, nature, etc, it is the faith that matters. I start the day with a prayer and end with one and probably 100's in between that. I just need to focus in my head to visualise any temple in my head if needed. But today I realised I missed God from the temple opposite my house.

Thanks to the renovation work from the last 5 months, the temple was closed. I was so used to seeing the diety everyday morning from outside on the way to work or to drop the kiddo I had become a daily routine. I had not seen the murthy for last 4-5 months and I was ok all this while. Today when it was reopend with a homa and all the chanting, it felt really emotional. I almost had tears in my eyes, like I was meeting my guru, my mentor, my friend after a long time. Eyes were wet and heart was full of gratitude, just thanked him for coming back in my life and obviously prayed for everyones good health and happiness. I needed him to be around, he gave me hope, strength at times when I saw nothing.

Yes, I was missing God!!!

Wanted!

No, I am not talking about being on a wanted list here or like a celebrity. It is about the feeling of being wanted by people whom you love and absolutely care for. That mutual feeling makes you look forward to every day and makes life worthwhile. 

Last week when we as a family were going through some tense times in the hospital, I had a few hrs with the kiddo to while away. His favorite mall was right next door (he hardly gets to visit malls, very very rare thanks to me) and I took him there to loaf around. Firstly I absolutely hate malls, the are crowded, claustrophobic, expensive, artificial and filled with people who do everything by the shop.

As usual, we walked around the aisles with rows of shops with insane prices. I do not know how people go and buy these things they are just not worth it. After covering most of the floors we entered a home decor shop and spent a lot of time. There was some sale going on and I used that as an opportunity to buy stuff for the office. Kiddo was super excited suggesting things I can get. Not once he said I want this for myself which was a pleasant surprise. He was having fun getting things for others, he was not selfish. Yes, he is growing :)

After spending an hr there, we were hungry and we visited his new fav junk food place, taco bell. We ended up eating a lot of chees and aerated drinks thanks to the unlimited refills. TBH, I hate them and he gets to drink only when he is out to such places which are not often. Then we went back to shopping and picked up a few lowkey perfumes for daily use (I dont use much but summer is coming :D).

All through the time, we both were having some really cool father-son banter. He spoke about his gyan from youtube and about some brands. He wanted to drag me to these fancy sneaker shops which I did follow and returned without buying anything. He understood that he has enough things and does not need more. He was happy just loitering around. 

I have heard kids start to drift away after 10 yrs and do not like displaying affection to parents in public. Thankfully we are not there yet. He voluntarily held my hand and we walked about swaying our hands like kids in the park. Thanks to the weather condition in Bangalore, there is a lot of static energy. It used to be bad before but on that day it was crazy, we shocked each other over 20 times, I'm not kidding. He was like, stop giving me current shocks :)))) Holding hands is probably bigger than any other form of physical intimacy in humans. 

All this while, I had this nice happy grin on my face, I felt wanted by the one person I loved the most. And I cant explain how that felt, just complete for that moment. Feb has been difficult for me and people I care for. Having these moments help to keep going and trying to live.

I wish I am able to make my loved ones feel wanted and even if I can't, I wish them this feeling from their loved ones! Life is worth every bit thanks to these moments!