Smell the flowers

 I did a couple of things today that I felt very proud of myself. Just as a background, super lazy, just getting out for some physical activity is difficult. Forget hiking, even high street walking was too much with the number of steps i was doing daily. But something made me plan for a hike as the trial 'Bog on Frog Loop' was fascinating. Even though the reviews were good and rated hard, I wanted to try. I had the whole day to spend, so here we go.

To start, the day was very grim, raining,  windy. Kinda whether you don't feel like leaving the bed. But I not only took a shower but left to go to Howth as per plan at 9 am.

Quick 15min walk to the train, got the tickets to just get to know that the tracks are flooded and trains are delayed. The alternative was to walk 10 mins to get a bus. I did finally find it out, waited for 20 mins and took the 45min bus ride. The ride was actually very scenic and I am very impressed by the Irish countryside.

Getting to Howth, it was drizzling, I found the details from the information center (red, blue, and purple routes were the option. All go thru the same path for the first half and Purple continues on the coast to cut into the hills later and is longer by a couple of hrs) and I started walking. The lighthouse was the first stop, the walk on the shore was good but very windy giving me chill ears. Then the climb to the cliff was good. Nice altitude getting me to sweat and add I go to the top feeling warm, The view there was breathtaking. The flowers, the cliff, and the terrain were insanely beautiful.

The sky opened making it bright and sunny, like the gods wanted me to see the whole beauty. I called a few to show how beautiful it was. I walked thru taking many pics and enjoying the hike and got down to another small lighthouse where the paths change. You could take the red or blue back to the station or the purple to the bog of frog loop. I was sure the bog route was no more scenic as the main cliffs were done. But I did take that bog route as that is what I came to hike today, I'm not giving in to the temptation of cutting things short.

Thanks to my luck it started pouring in and the path was more dense. My umbrella was useless, was getting stuck in the bushes and the path had so many puddles, my shoes are completely wet with water inside. I tried my best splits to cross them but couldn't. And in all this walk, I got my knee injury back. 😫 I get this nagging pain in right knee when I walk long bumpy terrain, especially downhill.

I saw a small path leading to the road and took it as the rain was bad and my shoes and clothes were soaked. On the road, I saw something small but really cool coincidence which was a nice surprise.

Then I decided to walk than wait for a bus. I go to the stage where the hiking path crossed the road and decided to have a quick look at the cliffs. Found this awesome spot with a bench, took pics as the rains completely cleared, and hurried back to the road as the bus was 5 mins away.

Then something happened, I was like I came here for the hike, for the nature. And I dint even bother sitting on the bench and taking nature in. So had a choice to make, the bus in 5 mins or sit on the bench, staring at the sea and cliffs. So here I am, being proud that I stopped and smelled the flowers 💐 🙂

Salesman!

 Today I had a very different experience, and I was not ready for that. 

One of my clients (the one in Liverpool which was my closest client and I ran most of their IT) CIO and PM were visiting India and I volunteered to meet them. They are planning to change the core orchestration system which I was an expert and thought of sharing my input with them. I stayed home yday to read their docs and brush up on my knowledge, I was prepared to give gyan on what they could do and how this change can become an enabler. 

I reached today for breakfast with them and as the conversation started, she was asking about my history and what I do now. Soon I realized she thought I was there to actually bid for this piece of work. And i was just not ready for it. I set the scene that I was meeting them to share my thoughts and give advice where possible. If things are fine we can work on the bid but as of now, it is just as a wellwisher :D I dont think she registered that (she was not feeling good and was distracted) and was enquiring about what I currently do and how my organization is. She had to leave due to bad health and I continued talking to one of the PMs whom I knew well from my stay there. I told her to look at the wider plan for the next 5 yrs and then decide how to replace the core system. It is the heart and not easy to replicate without good knowledge of the process. And given their track record, they would not have updated the documents I had created 5 yrs ago before moving to India. I actually was convincing them to bring it in-house than giving it to a vendor to build. 

That is when I realized I am so not a salesman. Here was an opportunity where a client is ready for work and I am saying them to do it themself. I typical salesperson would have jumped at it and sold the world to them. But to be fair to myself, I did not go to sell, all I wanted was for them to understand the end goal and make an informed decision that works for the long term. 

And then I realized, I was actually asking them to come up with a strategy and break it down into milestones. I asked if they spoke to some of the ex-employees who have joined competitors to check the systems they use. Delivery business is a small industry in UK and most of them move between a few companies and will have good exposure to processes and systems, why reinvent the wheel if they can reuse? I was actually giving them Ideas on how to build the strategy which I thought I was bad at :D. 

I felt I am good at planning for business and processes than IT and services :D Something to work on :)

Overall loads of realizations, the biggest one is that I am not a good salesman, at least not the typical kinds :) Dono if have to be sad or glad about it :))))

Missing God!

 I have always believed in God being all around us. And they come in all forms, all beliefs, all religions, nature, etc, it is the faith that matters. I start the day with a prayer and end with one and probably 100's in between that. I just need to focus in my head to visualise any temple in my head if needed. But today I realised I missed God from the temple opposite my house.

Thanks to the renovation work from the last 5 months, the temple was closed. I was so used to seeing the diety everyday morning from outside on the way to work or to drop the kiddo I had become a daily routine. I had not seen the murthy for last 4-5 months and I was ok all this while. Today when it was reopend with a homa and all the chanting, it felt really emotional. I almost had tears in my eyes, like I was meeting my guru, my mentor, my friend after a long time. Eyes were wet and heart was full of gratitude, just thanked him for coming back in my life and obviously prayed for everyones good health and happiness. I needed him to be around, he gave me hope, strength at times when I saw nothing.

Yes, I was missing God!!!

Wanted!

No, I am not talking about being on a wanted list here or like a celebrity. It is about the feeling of being wanted by people whom you love and absolutely care for. That mutual feeling makes you look forward to every day and makes life worthwhile. 

Last week when we as a family were going through some tense times in the hospital, I had a few hrs with the kiddo to while away. His favorite mall was right next door (he hardly gets to visit malls, very very rare thanks to me) and I took him there to loaf around. Firstly I absolutely hate malls, the are crowded, claustrophobic, expensive, artificial and filled with people who do everything by the shop.

As usual, we walked around the aisles with rows of shops with insane prices. I do not know how people go and buy these things they are just not worth it. After covering most of the floors we entered a home decor shop and spent a lot of time. There was some sale going on and I used that as an opportunity to buy stuff for the office. Kiddo was super excited suggesting things I can get. Not once he said I want this for myself which was a pleasant surprise. He was having fun getting things for others, he was not selfish. Yes, he is growing :)

After spending an hr there, we were hungry and we visited his new fav junk food place, taco bell. We ended up eating a lot of chees and aerated drinks thanks to the unlimited refills. TBH, I hate them and he gets to drink only when he is out to such places which are not often. Then we went back to shopping and picked up a few lowkey perfumes for daily use (I dont use much but summer is coming :D).

All through the time, we both were having some really cool father-son banter. He spoke about his gyan from youtube and about some brands. He wanted to drag me to these fancy sneaker shops which I did follow and returned without buying anything. He understood that he has enough things and does not need more. He was happy just loitering around. 

I have heard kids start to drift away after 10 yrs and do not like displaying affection to parents in public. Thankfully we are not there yet. He voluntarily held my hand and we walked about swaying our hands like kids in the park. Thanks to the weather condition in Bangalore, there is a lot of static energy. It used to be bad before but on that day it was crazy, we shocked each other over 20 times, I'm not kidding. He was like, stop giving me current shocks :)))) Holding hands is probably bigger than any other form of physical intimacy in humans. 

All this while, I had this nice happy grin on my face, I felt wanted by the one person I loved the most. And I cant explain how that felt, just complete for that moment. Feb has been difficult for me and people I care for. Having these moments help to keep going and trying to live.

I wish I am able to make my loved ones feel wanted and even if I can't, I wish them this feeling from their loved ones! Life is worth every bit thanks to these moments!

My Dream!

 I have been a dreamer for a really long time, so much so that I do not know when I was not a dreamer. Probably my childhood when I used to go to sleep at any place, literally in a market. 

And most of my dreams repeat or go through changes as my practical life or thought change. One thing common in all these dreams is people. People I love, I imagine, I make up, etc...but it is filled with people. Many times there are people and I am missing, Yes, I can dream of how people could be without me being around :D

Off late, I am trying to be ok with just myself and not look for people. If they are around it is ok, but if not, I want to be ok with it.

So for the first time in my life, I had a dream of being alone and doing things that I could like. And it was not strange, I was not sad, I was enjoying it. I think it had travel and exploring places on my own which I think I would love.

Strange that revenge travel is giving way to slow travel where people are trying to explore things more and not just run around all the time. 

So cheers to many more dreams and to living them. At least with the ones where I'm alone, it is easier to followup, it is just me I need to work on :D

Ganges!

 As a kid, I have always enjoyed playing in the water. I do not remember any time being scared of it or any feeling to avoid it. Joining swimming lessons at the young age of 7 helped with making me much more confident. Even though I cried a lot in the lessons, I never hated water. I'm normally the first to jump into a river or seashore and end up staying there for a long, probably the last to get out also. 

Just being comfortable in water has helped me many times, especially 16 yrs back in Goa. Goa sinking experience was definitely a scary one. 

I have always enjoyed fast-flowing rivers, waterfalls, canals, etc. There was this one time we visited Kere Thannur which is one of the biggest lakes around Mysore. The lake feeds the villages around and one of the canal pipes was broken creating gushing water at the start of the canal. I sat under it for an hr just feeling the water thumping on my head. And there was this crazy experience in Chunchi falls with college boys where I was almost washed away from one of the small falls. Kathe grabbed my hand and pulled me out in the most brutal way you can imagine. As usual, the cocky me did not thank him, I would have survived with a couple of broken bones anyways was my justification :))) 

So basically you get my point, I love water and especially the fast-flowing kinds.

19 yrs ago I was in Oracle and was a complete adrenaline junkie. Like an absolute mad cap who could jump off a building just for the thrill of it. I was into all adventure activities, and trekking was at the top of the list. I used to have a big gang who joined for treks and we used to find small streams and falls to rejuvenate at times. 

One of my senior directors, KK was a US return and was absolutely crazy about adventure. He used to be an avid biker, and hiker in the US and was continuing his passion in India also. The adventurous me was a big fan of KK. He was built like a bull, rough with a thick beard and was really chill about things. I think in early 2004, he told me of his 2 weeks plan in and around Rishikesh which just blew my adventure-driven mind. Along with hiking, he had booked a 5-day long rafting trip in the Ganges where he will raft for over 300 km. Raft 50-60 km a day and then camp on the river bank overnight and continue the rafting again. I had heard a lot about rafting in the Ganges but never thought of it seriously. When he returned from the trip, he was so elated and gave me an amazing explanation of the place and the experience. Since then, rafting in the Ganges has been a big dream.

I have tried rafting a couple of times in other places since then just to get a feel of it. The first was in Coorg which was a small distance and I absolutely enjoyed the feeling. The idea of controlling the raft in fast waters was such a rush, super feeling. 

The longest one was in Switzerland where we went on a 3 hr raft in a local river. Unfortunately, it was a much-controlled river. Even though the flow was fast, there were no interruptions to create rapids for the up-and-down experience. But the water was super clean and cold and I loved jumping in and floating away for an hr.

A couple of yrs back we did it in Dandeli, Kali river. We wanted to do the long one but the river flow was not good enough for the day. The next day we did try the short ride and was a super experience. We hit a couple of rapids and also carried the raft upstream to try it again. It was short but fun, the splashing water, the speed, and the directionless motion added to the thrill.

I did travel to Rishikesh once in between but did not get to raft. I was with family for 1-day kinds and did not get the time to explore. I have been planning for a 2-week yoga retreat and rafting trip for ages now but never materialized. Probably coz I was in the UK for a long period and also I wanted to go in a gang or wanted company :D Strangely my cousin was suggesting we do a week in Rishikesh later this year but his plans are not too concrete. 

So when we were planning a Xmas party in multiple locations in India in Dec 2022, Delhi came up as one of the locations. The first thing that came to my mind was Rishikesh. I was supposed to travel with my boss to 3-4 locations and thought of taking a small detour to visit Rishikesh on my own. But the plan was not confirmed as there were so many moving parts and I almost gave up the detour. We finally planned to visit Hyd, Rajamundry, Delhi, and Punjab (Punjab was to meet a colleague's family who helped us with a medical emergency). I had put my detour on hold as I wanted to accompany my boss to Punjab which was not clear yet and we had not booked our return flight.

On the day of the travel, my boss feel really ill and had to cancel leaving me all alone. I was completely lost and did not know what to do. I attended the party in Hyd with a small gang which was good and then flew to Rajamundry for a colleague's wedding. I was a bit aloof and that is when it hit me. I should do something for myself for a change. So I decided to go to Rishikesh and booked the tickets. 

For a change, I wanted to be in a hostel and explore the place a bit more. The main intention was rafting. A quick search showed multiple options and narrowed it down to 2, a 4 hr 16 km or a 6 hr 36 km one. Unfortunately for 36 km, there has to be a group or wait till the group happens. And as I was only for 1 day I would have missed the Ganga aarti. So decided on a 16 km one. 

After the Delhi event, I took a night bus to Rishikesh and took a shared auto in the bitter cold at 5am to reach the hostel at 6am. The first thing I did was book the rafting for the day and the pickup was 9am. 

9am sharp the rafting van was at the hostel to pick us up. I realized 3 girls (Dee and others 2 whose names I do not remember) from my hostel were joining me. after a 40 min drive, we reached the start point and were given instructions about the event. We carried the raft down to the river over poking stones which made it painful. Once down, we geared up and I took my first pic. 

The day was perfect with bright sun, clear waters and it was cold. We had 2 other rafts in our group and after the full instructions on how to sit (no footwear and the feet need to be below the front and back airbag and sit on the side walls, for leads, there is a flap on the front to secure the feet), paddle, manage big rapids, etc the instructor Gaurav asked who wants to be the lead among us 8 member crew. I did not give others a chance and just took one of the 2 positions. Thanks to my bike accident, my left ribs were hurting so I took up the right lead position and Dee took the left one as she had been rafting before. 

We all got going with paddles and the instructor was checking our coordination skills. The basic requirement was to paddle hard in the rapids to catch the speed and make the most of them. The first rapid was small but definitely better than any other rapid I was on. Within secs I was fully drenched in the cold water which just felt divine. I just knew I am going to enjoy it and boy I did enjoy it.

There were 12 rapids in the course and 2 of them were really fast, like level 3 and above. We were well coordinated and really pushed hard in the rapids to catch speed. When there was no paddling, I just sat and enjoyed the scenery, it was out of the world. The quiet, the clean water, the chill, the sun, the fresh air, the cool breeze, just perfect. I have not enjoyed the surrounding so much, especially on my own. 

When we hit 1st of the 2 big raids, my heart was racing. being the lead I could see the dancing water from afar and I just could not wait to go into it. We paddled hard and with Gaurav's maneuvering skills, we hit it at a decent speed and the crazy ride began. We were thrown from one side to another with very little control. I had to dig my legs deep into the raft pad just to hang on. We are so up and down that I could not find water in front of the raft to paddle :))) It was crazy like we were in a washing machine and it was so much fun. I can close my eyes and see the white water throwing me around and rinsing me of all thoughts. Such an adrenaline rush and peaceful at the same time. We took breaks from paddling in the rapid and got to it again to catch another side of it. It was the best few secs I have spent in the water :)

After a few rapids, Gaurav suggested we can jump into the river and float downstream for some time if we were up for it. I did not even need an invite, when we got to that area, I just jumped in. It was so cold, huh, thinking of it gives me shivers. I could feel my legs and ears almost freezing. But once I got used to the cold, it was blissful. I have never been in such clean, clear waters, even in Swiss. It felt like I was in paradise, the mountains gave the perfect background with the morning sun adding the sine to the waters. I swam, floated, and went away from the rest of them just to feel the isolation. I just wanted to be in the river forever kinds. 

After 8-10 mins we had to get onto the raft for the next rapids. Gaurav pulled a few of us in and I was pulled in by others which were not great, felt like a gunny bag being pulled by a bear :)) Once we settled in, a couple of them changed positions but I held on to the right lead, it was too much fun to give away. We continued on a few more rapids catching them at the right angles to feel the tumbling. Near the end was the best rapid of all. It was long and fast and had too many ups and downs. We were tired but managed to paddle to catch it fast. It almost threw us in the air and we had to get down into the raft to manage from being thrown out. It was such fun, I just did not want it to end. There was a small area at the end of the rapid and Gaurav maneuvered us to catch that also. 

After calming from this insane ride, we hit a couple more rapids and Gaurav said one of them was safe to jump in inside the rapid itself. When we reached that area, I just flipped over my head into the water. The speed of the rapid was crazy and made me feel I was actually in a tumble dryer :D it lasted 30 secs and then plain water. This time I was in no rush in getting on onto the raft and swam around just enjoying the whole experience. After everyone got onto the raft, I reluctantly got in for the last 2 rapids. They were small but did make us have a feeling in the chest. 

We finally got to the calm area where the river widened and we could see other rafts on the bank. It was time to complete this crazy journey :( I took in as much of the scenery and was so glad that I could make it. My eyes welled up with joy and satisfaction. We paddled to the bank and got out of the raft. While waiting for others, I just drank from the river and poured some water on my head as a blessing from Mother Ganga and thanked her for this incredible experience. She welcomed me into her arms and made me feel really special :)

We carried the raft outside what stones poking holes in my frozen feet. We thanked Gaurav for his expertise and paid for the videos he took. While he was loading the pics, I settled in with hot tea, and Maggi and just stared at the river. Almost reliving the moment and registering it in my memories forever. And yes, it was so good that I registered it really well. I can close my eyes and go back to the experience. 

I am definitely going back for more rafting, it is such an incredible sport, and everyone must try it. 

I believe that I make memories well if I have lived in that moment. And this was one such memory I will cherish for a long time, probably till I lose my memory :D. I feel such things do not happen as a coincidence and life wants you to have these experiences to continue dreaming. 

And yes, I can say, I lived a dream and it was awesome. So cheers to living many more dreams no matter how impossible they look. 'Who zindagi hi kya jis mein koi namumkin sapna na ho' :D

PS: the link has the videos and pics of this amazing experience :) 

Rafting Rishikesh