All these days I fought to be around coz I wanted it the most, I did not think of the effect on others. It was about me and my needs and my wants.
The kindness I received created the hope and that hope created the will to fight which in turn created a impact, it was a circle of motivation. But now, that circle is broken, actions are seen differently by both parties (thots can have that effect), decision are made, kindness has reduced (as it was taken for granted before), hope is strangled which had reduced the will to fight and there is no change or impact made, which has broken the circle of motivation.
And this entire waiting is not recognized and there is nothing can be done about it. And at times, you want to give up and just accept the reality and fade away.
But, hang on a min!
If I do not fight now, will it effect anyone else in my life! For sure it will.
Giving up today will leave a unhealable scar on the person I care the most. Even in my most hopeful optimistic dream, I cant see it healing completely and going back to the old self. It will create doubts in instinct, raise regrets and stop from being true to yourself.
Again, this is lot of assumption here (what makes me think i was so important, what makes me think it is not already healed and moved on, ), but I strongly feel this is the case.
This is motivation enough to keep fighting, if it means 'imaginary' waiting, so be it. If there is nothing to be done and hold on to, it is ok, there are enough memories to relive during this wait.
Being calm and not react and understand different perspective will help creating a impact because I meant it when I say 'I care'.
