Bug!

 Yes, this has been something I have always struggled with, 'Dono how'. I get myself in situations where I could do a difference but I dono how to do it. The 'not so self aware', 'not so good in handling people or situations' me does not know how to make things better, or how to add value, how to convey the thots. Eventually, I try to do something and most times it works well, and sometimes it backfires. 

Looking back at it, even the ones that backfire end up ok later. I guess, the fear of doing something I am unaware of is scary. When I make peace with that, I do a decent job in the situation. 

So here is what I am doing to manage that fear of making things worse. 

What is the worst that can happen? Ill be misunderstood, piss people off, make the situation worse, etc. I am that anyways, so big deal :) . 

Will doing nothing help? if yes, then shut up. In most cases silence does not help, it will make things worse anyways. I could as well be the reason for that :) That is when the reputation of fuck up helps ;)

What does your instinct say? I am a strong believer in it. Nature around you will give you clues, you just have to see it. For example, early this week I was so dejected by not getting a proper response, I just felt I should shut up, I should stop trying. That morning I saw my parents trying to shoo off a few bugs from creating a mud nest on our terrace. I heard it was the 5th time they have tried to break the mud nest but the bugs keep coming. That is all I needed to hear to keep pursuing no matter what the response was. 

What will it bring to you? eventually what matters is how you feel about it. You cant predict how it will look to others but how it makes you feel is important. Does it make you feel better, do you think it was worth it. If yes, then do it.

I got this bookmark from my office in Birmingham that says 'dont overthink it' which is just the thing I need to be reminded often. We get so lost in our assumptions, our thinking, in calculating the permutations and combinations that we forget the actual issue. We create a monster out of it and fear it forever. 

Keep it simple. If you are doing it for someone you care, it will show no matter how hard the words are. The emotions, the energy will reach them. If not today then someday, good thots, good deeds, good vibes never die.

Just keep at it like the bugs on my terrace ;) 

Main kahin nahi jaaunga!

Dhoop hai to badal banke,

Barish mein aachal banke,

Dariya mein nayya banke paar lagaunga,

Main kahin nahi jaaunga!

Gusse ke kaaran banke,

Rone ko kaandha banke,

Hasne ka vajah banke saath nibhaunga,

Main kahin nahi jaaunga!

Mushkilon mein honsala banke,

Rushiyon ke liye dua banke,

Kuch aur nahi to yaad banke sataunga,

Main kahin nahi jaaunga!

Dead Soul!

 Death is something I have never been scared of or seen as a negative thing, it is the end game for all anyway. But one thing I have been uncomfortable with is horror stories or movies. I have watched them but it is not my go-to genre and I have avoided them in the past.

A couple of weeks back I was just browsing through the temporary Netflix account and came across this series called 'The Dead Boy Detectives' and I got curious, about cool-looking boys trying to solve mysteries for the dead souls and started to watch. It ended up being one of my favorite series in recent times. 

It is about 2 boys Charles & Edwin who died unnatural deaths decades ago and ended up escaping hell/heaven and opening a detective agency to help lost spirits solve things that bother them. When the mystery is solved, it helps the spirits to the last journey and releases them from this 'ghostly' state. 

Each episode is a new case with a few continuing till the end making it interesting. Each case is different from spirits stuck in a loop to sea monsters to bullying to psychic powers, to immortal witches, etc. Even though I have no clue about most of this ghostly thing, I did like it, it was not too much to digest. What makes it interesting is that Edwin is from the early 1900s, Charles is from the 80s and the humans Crystal, Niko are from today showing the stark difference in thought processes. 

But what made me like it so much was the connection they showed between these 2 boys and their accomplices. The friendship, the untold issues and how it affected them, the love between a spirit and a human, the care between friends, the extent to which someone will go to help a friend, the complex emotions, etc.

Certain scenes just made you feel so good, I can't believe ghosts could have that effect on me. 

Like, ghosts cant feel any living thing. And when Charles kisses Crystal, he says 'I could feel it inside', like it touched his soul. That is so true, you don't need to be around to feel things in reality, they can happen if you are aware of yourself. 'Being there in spirit' is so true.

Or when Edwin gets to know about Charles internal issues.

Or the scene when Charles consoles Edwin when he opens up to him. How being a friend was enough for that day, rest all can be figured out.

The best one was the conversation between Charles and Crystal in the end, it made me cry. I was like, not this, it is so perfect, tears just rolled down my cheeks. 

Definite recommendation!